This week is mine.

Random flowers :) :)

Sent in my graduation application!

I will finally be getting my Associate's degree in April!!

Mind Vomit

Just got home from St. George and this is the first thing I do. I am an addict to blogging. I have so much on my mind, but I suck at expressing myself. I worry about everything. Every.little.thing. I need to stop. All I can do is be myself, but what if that's not enough..? I'm scared. Sometimes, I wish I could end up in the hospital and see who shows up. If there was anything I could put into my brain.. I would put a beautiful voice, I wish I could sing more than anything. If I could take something out, it would be my shyness. I am super shy and I hate it.

I'm getting surgery in 3 weeks andddddd I'm freaking out. There's so much on my mind. Why I always swallow my own thoughts? I'll never know. I hope one day I can find someone who accepts me for me, all my dorkiness, blonde moments, and insecurities.
I want/need summer.

"I was afraid of wanting anything. I figured wanting would lead to trying, and trying would lead to failure. But now I find I can’t stop wanting. I wanna fly somewhere in first class. I wanna travel to Europe on a business trip. I wanna get invited to the White House. I wanna learn about the world. I wanna surprise myself. I wanna be important. I wanna be the best person I can be. I wanna define myself instead of having others define me. I wanna win and have people be happy for me. I wanna lose and get over it. I wanna not be afraid of the unknown. I wanna grow up to be generous and big hearted, the way that people have been with me. I want an interesting and surprising life. It’s not that I think I’m gonna get all these things. I just want the possibility of getting them. The future is the possibility that things can change. I can't wait."

- friday night lights -

For those of you who know me, know that I am overly obsessed with.. yep, you guessed it..
RYAN GOSLING! He is the sexiest, most attractive man to ever come to this Earth. I even told my mom that if I was ever in the hospital or dying that I would want them to pay for a visit from the one and only Ryan Gosling. Ha! C'mon who doesn't love the Notebook? But back off he's mine. :)

This is just too perfect.

 

Unspoken rules

Here's a few tips for the fellas.. a real list of REAL things to do & not to do. I saw these and just had to write them up and a few of my own. They are perfect, and pretty much sum up all the tips girls want guys to know. So here they are.. take note.

1. Shoes. Yes, this has to be #1 on the list. We check you.. look at the face, scan the stature, and our eyes automatically drop to the shoes. If you're wearing flip flops. . . cyaaaaaa. Those are only okay on one occasion and one occasion only.. Swimming. (boating and beach included) Otherwise don't wear them, simple as that. If you ever wear brown sandals, the huge skater shoes, or shoes that are falling apart - time to buy new shoes.

2. Teeth - please brush them. And floss them. Keep them clean. We love a good smile :) It's fine if you have to look in the mirror at your mouth.. better than having something stuck in your teeth or having spit or food on your mouth.

3. FACT. Opening car doors = real gentleman = very attractive. any door for that matter. If we're on a date, do it. If we're hanging out, do it. Yes, we do notice it and yes, we love it.

4. We like goodnight texts. We like good morning texts.

5. So let's talk about "the game." Yes we've all heard of it and probably played it too. Dating is a game. We will all continue to play it until we find the "Mr. or Mrs. Right."
        But let's get down to business.
Why does every girl love The Notebook? We don't expect to have a perfect fairytale life-but Noah was straight up REAL. We love real. Which leads us to #6...

6. If you're always trying to be "cool" you will never be "real" to us. JUST BE REALLLLLL! !

7. Don't play "too hard to get" & don't be too clingy. Don't get it twisted.

8. Make me laugh and let me be goofy. We love it. Sing songs with us in the car.

9. Let's talk about touch. Tickle my back and I will fall in love. Hold my hand. Just do it. Whether we are in public or alone. I personally hate PDA but holding hands is fine.

10. How to kiss - you should know by now. Don't be all over the place and sloppy - but I'm also not a tree, so don't be a woodpecker.

11. Respect us. Don't play with the line. We should never have to ask you to slow down.

12. Tip good. We do notice.

13. It is so attractive when you show love for your mom.

14. Show genuine interest in our lives. Ask questions and when it's time to listen, listen. Try to remember things we tell you.. it shows you care.

15. Don't talk about your exes, and don't ever compare us to them.

16. Compliment us. But a little secret about girls- is sometimes we don't know how to take compliments very well. But we appreciate your sincerity. Don't say we look "HOT"- how the heck are we supposed to accept that as a compliment. Tell us we look pretty, beautiful, gorgeous.. and be honest. Oh p.s. the compliment means 100x more when it's in person.

17. If you take more time to get ready than us--seriously stop.

18. Be patient with us. We may not know all the terms for the sports or cars, but we're trying.

19. Call us just to talk. You don't always have to have a reason. Put a little effort in once awhile. We will notice.

20. Don't be on your phone all night.

21. Please stay away from jean shorts.. unless they are khakis or army shorts mmm

22. And last but not least.. these 2 things get me everytime.
Kisses on the forehead and hugs from behind. Ahhh just thinking about them make me melt. Some girls don't like them, but they are my favorite.

Valentine's Day

This is the perfect video for today.

You can tell they are so in love..

and yes I cried watching this.

"Right now as I stand here, you are the other half of me. The better half of me. Since I met you, you've been my third arm, my second heart, and my second set of ears. But tonight after we say "I do" all that will change. The word "other" will no longer exist in our relationship vocabulary. Tonight we will become one. Our hearts will be in perfect unison, our eyes will blink the same speed. For the rest of my life when I wake up in the morning, your hair will be the first thing that I smell, and your skin will be the first thing that my lips touch and kiss; and tonight, I am giving you the key that unlocks every door inside of my body. In this moment, I promise to always defend you, and to protect you, and I give you my word that I will always do my very best to make you laugh, and to keep your cheeks sore from smiling so much. I will cook you breakfast and we’ll watch classic movies together. I will be an amazing father to our children one day. I will make sure how much I love their mother. We will travel around the world together. We get to watch thousands of sunsets together. We will grow old together and watch each other's hair turn grey. I promise you this, that I will always look at you the same as I see you today. I will tell you every day for the rest of your life how gorgeous you are. I will always sing for you until the day that I die. Even when I am 80 years old, I will still ask you to dance with me, even when there’s no music in the room.”

I'm SO ready.

So ready to see what the future holds for me..

and for once in my life I can say.. I am without a doubt, excited about it!

I know what I deserve and I won't settle.

                   lets.skip.to.the.good.part. :)

You can't rewind the past. You can't stop the future. The only way to learn the secret is to press play.

As I have talked with my bishop, he said.. "forgive yourself, God already has." He tells me I need to stop dwelling on the past, so I can move onto the place I'm supposed to be.

tee.are.you.ee.

• Life can only go up from here.
• God puts people in your life for a reason.
• Friends may go, but family is always there.
• Always put a smile on your face in the morning.

                You never know who is falling in love with it.
                                                                                    

People throw rocks at things that shine.

“I've learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.”